Great job to the sensalationalist media on continuing to cover thehorrific events that occured on Friday. Keep shoving your cameras inthe faces of the people that need comfort and solace and continue tocapitalize on their suffering. Let them have their peace and mourn for the devastation that has occured.
In the mean time thanks to the unending coverage of the events of last week there continue to be stories popping up all over the news about similar events happening. I am sure it had nothing to do with giving the gunman his 15 minutes of fame and igniting the flame in countless other psychopaths who were already close to their tipping point; and now they want to out-do the last.
Address the flaws in our society and focus on what was done right. Don’t look at this as an incident of one person gone wrong. I understand as an outsider it is easy for me to criticize, and I can’t even imagine the anguish of the parents, family and friends immediately affected by this. The solution lies in changing the way we deal with our children; how we raise them, how we teach them right from wrong, morals, and most importantly how we take an active role in their lives.
As I said, I am an outsider, I can not completely understand but I can say (and my brother and sister will likely agree): We grew up in a home with stern discipline for doing wrong, but we also had parents that were directly involved in our lives. At 22 I still called home nearly every day; even when home on leave I checked in with them at night if I wouldn’t be home. I respected my parents and what they did to raise me, I knew that I didn’t always agree with their rules but I also understood that their rules were there for a reason. I made my mistakes and I got punished…and never made the same mistake again.
There is an article circulating Facebook called “I am whatever-the-psycho-from-friday’s-name-is Mother”. She is not actually his mother, unfortunately she was killed by her son. She is, however, the mother of a child with psychological problems. I take issue with this though. This mother talks about how her son threatened her with a knife, how he threatens to kill people on a regular basis; as well asl threats to take his own life. She continues to say that he has been to every psychologist, psychiatrist and therapist to no avail. What she also says is that her discipline consists of “gentle words” and taking away his electronic for the day. For the day?! Again, I am not in this situation myself and do not have direct knowledge but she breaks it down pretty well. It sounds to me like this may be something going back to the very beginning of this child’s life. Instead of a quick and decided smack on the ass for doing something wrong, she turned to “oh, please don’t do that honey”. When he threatens with knives she takes them and locks them in her car and tells him to stop, he refuses to change his pants to comply with his school’s dress code and calls her a bitch, she tells him that it’s not nice and please change. Who is the controlling party in this backwards relationship? Where is the fear of God in this child?
This is a continuing trend. We are told it is unlawful to punish our children the same way that we were, we placate and we submit to the children. We have replaced spanking with a nice comfy chair in the corner to sit in time out and think about what we did. We reward children for being at a sporting event and not doing well…so they don’t feel bad. We shelter our children from everything we can so they can feel fulfilled. Yet we do nothing to prepare them for the horrors of society and the real world of criticism and hardships. They grow up in their bubble of self-absorbed, gotta-have-it-now, and then when the world comes to their door they have no idea how to react; the parents who were only there supplying their “drug” didn’t reach them during the crucial development of the child’s own morals; then something like Sandy Hook happens, something like Columbine, Aurora, and countless other events.
When these things happen, people always look to blame the guns and the society that glamourizes violence. Of course, it is so much easier to point the finger at the inanimate object than it is to the people behind what happened. Oh, but they were a good person, sweet and loving, no one would have known. I call bullshit. If it is the truth, then I point my finger to the failed upbringing. Again, I go to my argument above, my parents were involved, loving and caring.
Don’t look to make more gun laws either. If a criminal is a criminal then they won’t care about breaking the law and stealing a gun or posessing one to begin with.
I know we can’t “go back” to the 50’s. They had their problems too; but instead lets reflect on what there was that made things the way they were and could make things better. Keep in mind I say this as an agnostic. Religion. They have taken religion out of everything. People are afraid to speak their minds on religion for fear of the person next to them capitalizing on it and crying wolf. Religious freedom is the basis for our country’s founding yet we get farther and farther from that nearly every day. The 50’s also had a strong centralized family. Divorce was something rarely seen, young single parents were nearly non-existent, marriage was something to be held dear. This formed a strong family bond that in turn helped instill values and morals into the children. My parents were of that era. They carried on those same values and instilled them in me. I would like to think I am a pretty stable guy.
So, stop letting the media give these people their 15 minutes, start helping the people that need it heal. Instead of focusing on making more gun laws, focus on better qualification processes. Stop falling back on “well they were a good person” or “he was unstable and he needed meds”, that does no good. I understand that there will always be mental illness in the world, is is an unfortunate truth; but I disagree with medicating the children into little zombies. They are kids, they have energy, smack them when they get out of line and they will stop what it is that they are doing…correctional….strange how it works. Finally, for the sake of everyone, become an active parent. Teach your child how to throw a ball, how to rake leaves, or even the devastating power of a weapon, let them fear it rather than exhalt it. Turn off the games and TV, break out a family board game, have dinner at the table and discuss how they feel. Let them open to you and show mutual respect and I guarantee it will be returned (maybe not the 16 year olds but they will appreciate it later). Show your children that wrong behavior is punished and not acceptable. Let them lose something and don’t console them with a prize, console them with “Well you figured out you’re not good at that yet. Try again or try something new.” Let our children grow thick skin and self-worth. Make them earn the atta-boy. Show them that you support them and help them find their own direction. Otherwise we will all have to hug it out again when the next person flies off the handle and commits another horrible crime.
I can’t possibly fathom the way the parents, families and friends feel. I can’t begin to express how it makes me feel. I can however, let them have their peace and privacy. I hope their children can become children again; and get the help they may need so they are not the next generation of 15-minute seekers. In the mean time I will not sign an electronic petition, I will not attend a vigil and I will not watch the news stories about this. My “signature” will not end their sorrow. My presence will not bring their little angel back. My watching the news will not answer any questions. Let these people have their peace.
Now, I am going to turn off the computer and get on the floor with my daughter and help her put her babies “nuh-night”.
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